I’ve watched nearly ALL the videos. Sam Vaknin is the professor/psychologist who coined the phrases “narcissistic abuse” and “flying monkeys”. There are videos by him on everything psychology, especially cluster b. But, warning, the things he says are grim and devastating. He doesn’t sugar coat it and the prognosis is generally very bad for narcissism.

From what I’ve learned, my FOO had generational trauma, there is plenty of narcissistic traits with really dysfunctional behaviors, there is much anxiety and depression. I am genetically and behaviorally exposed to things that have affected me. But, I am glad to say, I have managed to do extremely well in spite of all that! While I am in a toxic relationship making me miserable, I have been a person who did life in a very traditional way; a wife, mother, and I didn’t do anything intentionally or really hurtful to anyone, ever. Just some bad choices sometimes when I was very young, but still not so terrible. I took an inventory of all my actions while examining this whole situation to see how much of it is me, and I am fine with my behavior in every other relationship/friendship/ work experience, I’ve ever had.