Sadness is the baseline of my existence. I used to over do physically to exhaust myself,in order to divert myself from ruminations.To keep my mind occupied. But it stopped working. Now I donot try to get tired anymore.No point if it's not working anymore. I accepted the fact that I might remain sad for rest of my life.I go through my day and get things done.I would give anything to change my past,if I get a do over.But that's not possible. Right???So it is what it is.I will count my blessings and take one day at a time.