Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
It sounds like your husband’s ego was damaged by what he experienced at his job and he was no longer the center of attention with you when you had your child.
Sometimes what you described creates a shut down that a man is not even aware of. Men can have a hard time with emotions, they hate feeling vulnerable. Most men are not nurtured where they are allowed to have emotions and be ok with feeling. Instead they tend to be encouraged to man up and ignore their feelings. This tends to make them pull away from a woman’s emotional needs because it makes them uncomfortable.
One of the things that concerns me is how quickly people use the label narcissist because they want that black and white answer to why there are challenges in a relationship. There tends to be a lot of pressure on men to fill certain expectations.
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He was raised by parents who showed little emotion. He made it his style to show no emotion in his job for self preservation. Although he likes humor and can lol, he doesn’t show empathic emotion much.
The relationship was a power imbalance. He was the boss and I the worker. He wasn’t mean and demanding about that. It was an unspoken agreement. I picked up on his unspoken wants and did it because I wanted the relationship, knew if I didn’t he’d find someone else who would. But I did want it to feel real and satisfying to me, to my soul. I asked for too much. It became an obsession which turned into me having weekly meltdown episodes.