Originally Posted by unaluna
Well you know in therapy they say you cannot change the other person, you can only change yourself. And in one of your recent posts, you said you engage in some kind of self-harming behavior. Maybe that is the place to start - changing that behavior. Cuz otherwise, you seem to be putting the blame / responsibility for your behavior on him. I see 1. You ask 2. He fails 3. You self-harm.
Remember the Serenity Prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Or the alternate version: Grant me the coffee to change the things i can, and the wine to accept the things i cant change.
CoDA is a 12 step program with the Serenity Prayer, just like AA. Yeah, I am an addict. I need to make amends to everyone I hurt. To all here, I am sorry for my obsessive whining about my situation that is the trigger for my misery. I am the problem and I need a 12 step program for healing.
My sister told me yesterday that our mother would complain to her about how I kept crying to our mother about my unhappiness with my husband. Sister said Mom was annoyed that I kept upsetting HER. This is how my FOO helped me get out of a bad, dangerous, harmful situation- they dissed me behind my back.