Just checking in.

Things are much the same here. There's peace between she and I. She hasn't acknowledged any of the things I said about any of her outbursts at me in recent weeks. She flip flops between wanting to try and wanting a divorce. The kids are totally done and want us separated. They have each, and together, asked me to make plans and move forward without their mom.

I still see her as being someone in mental and emotional distress. I am accepting that even if that is accurate, it doesn't mean I can save her, correct this, bring us back to being a family, or that it is the right thing for the rest of us. I am also facing how financially crippling divorce will be.

Christmas will be a very challenging time.

My parents and extended family are hosting their big annual party. Concurrently, my wife's group of friends all have their own plans for Christmas.

If the kids and I go to my parents', it will be a welcome relief from all this at home. But it will be a crippling injury to my wife who is already deeply hurting.

I'm thinking I will encourage the kids to go to the grandparents and I will stay home with my wife. I really feel that is the right course of action.

RDMercer