So I masturbated some days ago in my bathroom and I was moaning the name of an fictional character ( it was because before that I was scared I might get intrusive thoughts during it so I wanted to focus on something else). All was fine afterwards, though I felt ashamed and guilty, but today I had this thought: what if my neighbour heard me? And now I'm in a complete panick state and I'm also constantly crying. Our walls are thin, I can somehow always hear him having a phonecall with someone. My moaning was like a whisper or in a normal tone and the shower was also on but I'm still terrified that he might have heard me. I know what everyone is thinking: man, masturbating is normal and if he heard it, so what? WRONG. I keep overplaying scenarios in my head where he heard it and it gets around the neighbourhood and my family finds out and they will be disappointed of me and I will also get shamed, spitted on and even killed because that's how my culture it. If you do something REALLY shameful you either get disowned or killed. The fear got to the point where I thought about killing myself and I'm sure I will do it if it gets around. I'm thinking about talking to my mom about it because she knows that I masturbate here and there. But I feel like she will just call me insane and I don't know what to do. I'm just so effing terrified. I can't even do things without having the thought "I will probably get killed either way so why should I do that" and then I cry really hard and beg to god to make sure no one heard it. Should I go to my neighbour and ask just to make sure? Or should I wait and see?