Welcome to MSF, Whatever234, and thanks for posting your concern. I think the advice CANDC offered you is sound. As it happens, I was watching a movie on YouTube yesterday evening and, at one point in the film, one of the characters said there was an old saying: "Don't tickle the porcupine." I think the concept is relevant here. Don't ask for trouble which, I think, is what you might well be doing by asking your neighbor what, if anything they heard.

I'm not a mental health professional. But it seems to me the real concern here may be the fear and anxiety you're living with. If, in your country, you are able to access mental health services of some sort, it might be worth your while to see if you can access those services. You wouldn't need to, nor would you want to, mention the incident you describe in your post. Just talk, in general about the fear and anxiety you are living with. My personal, non-professional thinking would be that if this particular incident has caused you to feel so much fear and anxiety that you are thinking of killing yourself, you must be living with a heavy load of fear and anxiety in general. And that must be a very difficult way to live day-in and day-out. Best wishes...