I have so much I want to say. More than I can. I didn't mean to insult your taste last time, btw. I mean I own a teddy bear for crying out loud, and I talk to him, too. I was just saying that it makes sense you'd buy the shoes, as you also bought the blanket, it really wasn't a snide remark. I should have apologized and explained right then, I noticed you flinch. Not sure why I didn't connect the dots right away.

You know I think it's funny that you still haven't officially committed to working with me, but you do put a lot of effort and work into this relationship, maybe even as much as I do. So for all intents and purposes you have committed, but you don't want to say it. I understand your resistance, and it's fine. I'm not pushing, not even asking, this is something you have to come to terms with (or not) in your own time. It's not my place to point this out or interfere in any way with your process. It's just something I notice, an inconsistency you struggle with.
It's been over one year now, and I could not hope for a better therapist. I know I would never find anyone specialized in working with me outside of forensics, so your willingness to learn inspite of all your doubts is something I am forever grateful for. It's been over a year now. A part of me would like to give you present for christmas, something small, something to make you smile, but I'm not sure either one of us is quite there yet, let alone both of us. I might write a card, or a letter... a card, I guess. I would need to think how to write it. It seems a card would not be enough to encompass all I want to say, but perhaps a card is the perfect amount. I'm sure you have better things to do over christmas than read the ramblings of a patient.

Thank you, anyway, for agreeing to help me.