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Dec 04, 2022, 05:30 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu
Mmm, maybe spiritual? I don’t know. I like using the Buddha concept of empty mind. I call it a null state. To me it’s not spiritual it’s just a coping method, one that works well for me.
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I like it, too, it's my favorite way of dealing with my unwanted thoughts, besides listening to music. I've worked with empty mind (at least, tried really hard to) for about 20 years. I used to sit zazen, for a number of years, at an absolutely magnificent zendo (Japanese temple), right on the coast, where I could hike out to the ocean after sitting meditation and find a big boulder to climb up over the Pacific, watch and listen to the waves come and go. Oh, what a glorious opportunity! And the sadness, the guilt I have, is that I used to sit on that huge boulder, looking out over the gorgeous Pacific, gratitude with every breath, at the same time
The guilt I felt still bothers me so much it makes me almost nauseous. I wonder if it's genetic, or reincarnation. Or just some horrible defect. Whatever it is, the thoughts drag at me so badly, and I feel like no one except those who have truly suffered with mental illness can possibly comprehend what I mean.
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