My daughter doesn’t have a personality disorder but she does have bipolar and addiction issues. When she was 21 she was picked up for a dwi. We made the decision to not bail her out. She says now that that was a wake up call that she needed. She had to face the consequences and she got serious about cleaning up her act. She’s 40 now, stable, working, married and has two adorable kids. It’s tough not to bail them out but it’s got to be done.
Your daughter knows she’s emotionally manipulating you. You do need to cut the ties. No more rescuing the animals call the humane society and report her. She needs the consequences. Tell the relatives you’re doing what’s in her best interest.