Dear Rose, grief is such a strange and complicated thing, especially when your loss was during that odd time of the pandemic, maybe this is part of your grief?
I don’t know what best to say to you (I’m quite worn myself right now) except keep on doing the positive things you’re doing, even if it’s just a seemingly little thing, it all adds up, if you’re struggling to do this though then please be kind to yourself as you would to others.
It’s such a dark time of year here right now I don’t know about where you are? It brings extra challenges. Gentle hugs.