For Lizardlady: Having to jump through endless and fruitless bureaucratic hoops is understandably frustrating. It would anger and upset me, too. I hope you can get to the bottom of it. I like the Direct Deposit idea. Otherwise, I'd be heading to local P.O. Manager to have a talk.

For Open Eyes: I've heard excellent things from people about the DBT book you suggested. I was introduced, early on after my diagnosis, to the CBT workbook, put out by the same people, as understand it. DBT is the next step for a lot of folks, and can be wonderfully helpful.

Hugs for you, *Beth*. I didn't know what you've been struggling with, or how intense the situation has gotten. That would be upsetting, indeed.

Intrusive and negative thoughts are a part of my experience, too. The CBT helped me very well, in that it enabled me to feel so much better about myself, that it gave me permission to feel better overall. I could identify and separate the thoughts into their proper categories. I could give them the attention they deserved, or not. Depending on their severity, I could put them into categories, and also see from where they arose. If they were truly terrible, I banished them from my head with stern commands, as in, "You do not get to rent this space for free! Go away! Out!". I treat them as I would treat someone who was messing with me, physically, trying to harm me. I talk to them; and as in Liz's bit of advice, I tell them where to go.

It may not be a complete 100% fix for the occurance of these negative thoughts, but it's entertaining. And that alone can shift enough brain chemistry the right way for it to stop them in their tracks.

And if they do still recur, I use those as signposts for what I need to continue working on.

I have tried, with some success, to expose myself to something beautiful, every day. It's one reason the internet has become a big positive for me. I focus on it for a while, and maybe even do a bit of reading on the subject. Just a little bit, a little time for me, everyday. It could be anything: Art, Architecture, beautiful music (often Classical music, for me), amazing photography which captures amazing places --- all of the stuff that makes life bearable and wonderful, and is worthy of celebration. This practice helped lift me out of the abyss when things were at their worst; and it helps me still, to this day.

Massive huggggs, *Beth*! I like ALL of the advice people have offered! I hope you find a solution for yourself, sweetie.