Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete
I'm not dealing with this latest therapy break well. It was a short one and we're supposed to meet tomorrow in person, but I'm still having trouble with it. Mostly because of the "love in therapy" stuff that came up followed by the topic that came up at our last session that brought up a lot of feelings of being unlovable. Even though he did say there was love there. I don't know why I can't absorb that. I just feel kind of abandoned right now and I feel ridiculous for that.
|
Hugs, NP. It's not ridiculous to feel that. Breaks are difficult, and so are discussions on love in therapy. I can certainly identify with that right now...
Do you think it's partly that you wished he'd say it back? I mean, beyond just "there's love there."
I'm asking in part because I'm wondering if that's part of what's going on for me right now. Like I knew cognitively that my T wouldn't be like "I love you, too" or even to acknowledge that there's some level of love on his end when I talked about it. Or even be like, "I won't use the word love, but do know that I care." But I think this other part of me maybe thought there was some tiny chance, and I'm struggling to accept the reality now. But I also don't feel like I can talk about it with him, at least not for a bit, because he suggested that he wanted time to process it and figure out how to feel about it. Even though I already told him once, 4 years ago, that he apparently forgot about--like he literally said that he didn't remember that I'd told him (and hm, I wonder if part of this for me is that he'd forgotten?)
But anyway, wonder if this could be part of what's going on for you, too? (Sorry if I derailed!)