So, Andy is recovering from a groin strain. We had taken a few weeks off then started back up and he was doing well, but we finally got into the consult with the rehab vet and they want us to take more time off to let it heal more since he's still showing some signs of pain and then do some rehab to prevent reinjury and train properly.

The prognosis is good, and there is no reason at this stage to think that in a few months we can't return to agility together.

I discuss with my trainer, and of course, in her pessimistic fashion, she brings up almost immediately that I might have to retire Andy from agility. It's nothing new. She's not the biggest fan of Andy, so it doesn't surprise me that she would just want to give up.

I have a friend who also does agility with her dogs, and I express to her my frustration with my trainer jumping to that conclusion so quickly, and people making assumptions about Andy's enjoyment of agility, etc., and that it's upsetting to me because there is no indication we need to quit right now, and I want to focus on his healing so we can return.

So my friend decides to go into a diatribe, in her words "keep an open mind because she's saying this as a friend" then goes into a long diatribe about how maybe we should switch sports and she doesn't trust rehab and blah blah blah just continuing to lay it on exactly the thing that is frustrating me.

It's like telling someone who you ask for support something that is bothering you so they go and do that thing that is bothering you to you some more. And then they expect you to be happy about it.

So I tell her to stop and that it's very frustrating that she's putting her need to say her opinion over actually hearing what I'm saying and supporting me. So then she says some crap about how she is supporting me she's just not telling me what I want to hear. And obviously that is not what I'm asking for. I didn't ask her for her opinion or thoughts on Andy retiring. I told her I was frustrated that my trainer was jumping to this conclusion and that we have this uphill battle with certain people in the sport because my dog is a nonstandard breed.

So she calls me sensitive - oh there's the gaslighting - and continues to defend saying whatever she wants to say versus actually listening to what I'm saying.

So I call her out on that and say "I'm not any more sensitive than any other person. It's not fair to call me sensitive to defend your insensitivity." I really debated on how much to call her out for that, but I'm sorry I'm not sitting here and being called "sensitive" because I said something was frustrating me and then you go and do that exact thing on purpose to me. No.

And then I stepped away.

I really enjoy talking to her about agility stuff, but it's clear to me she's not a safe person. It's not the first time she's made off hand remarks that were microaggressions before. She once compared me to a friend of hers, saying that we were alike in personality, and yet she keeps referring to this friend and how we are alike because we are "big women". And it's just like not a necessary comment.

So I guess that's that with that "friend". I don't feel safe talking to her anymore.