Transference is in every relationship not just therapy relationships so it doesn't matter whether the T is blank slate or not. Also I kinda despise the use of the word transference as the way it's used is that it somehow separates what you are feeling in the here and now and suggesting 'oh those feelings are all just transference and based on your past' as if they are somehow not real....the majority of our feelings of love for others have some remnant of the past. This is why and how many of us unconsciously choose our partners. It's all intermixed all the time....

I don't understand the implication that you wanting to talk about it means you are trying to sabotage the relationship....I'm not entirely sure of your whole conversation so I may be filling in blanks but I know in my therapy I've have a similar need in that I have strong feelings for my T and Spend a-lot of time wanting to talk about it..and keep revisiting it and going around in circles. I know some of the preoccupation is my own stuff and attachment wounds but I also honestly think my therapists inability to express some form of return care for me is part of the reason we are stuck here. It's like my attachment system has been activated ... I read some psychologist refer to it as the care seeking system and will not rest until it receives the care (at least on some basic level) that it is seeking...our therapists are very different in many ways but similar in that neither will return care in a way that people with attachment wounds like we have may need. It's incredibly frustrating and painful. I'd been hoping my therapist would at some point see the light and just even been willing to try take a calculated risk to see but they seem to have the heels very much stuck in the mud on this. Part of me thinks it's not just a strongly held belief in their therapeutic orientation but also down to her own comfort levels in being able to give and receive care/love openly.