Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
I guess the question is whether a therapist has the right to set a conversational boundary or not. In social situations, that works like, "Hey, if you talk about X, I will remind you not to. If you persist, I will leave." Dr. T can't exactly leave, and if I remember correctly he doesn't believe in referring clients out, so he's kind of stuck here. You really can't control what somebody does or doesn't say.
In a way I'm glad I'm not as open as LT about the specifics of my therapy because you all would think my therapist had been thoroughly battered and deep fried by now, but she sincerely doesn't seem to mind. The core of my work has been built around a series of ruptures, some of which I have discussed so often that I'm sick of them. I think there are just a lot of ways to do therapy.
|
This is a good point. I do have friends who have certain boundaries around particular topics, and I'm generally very good about avoiding them (I may slip up now and then). And they do the same for me. I feel like in therapy, it should be more open and I shouldn't have to worry about the boundaries in the same way, particularly when it's me talking about my feelings.
And I *do* respect many of his boundaries. I don't ask any detailed questions about his son, for example. He mentioned something about kids not wearing masks in his school, and I asked if he was in middle or high school now, and he answered. But I didn't ask any additional questions. I don't ask about his wife. I sort of ask about his travel plans (generally things like "are you driving or flying?" which partly involved COVID safety concerns the past few years), but respect if he doesn't give more info.
If he set a clear boundary that I can't talk about X, I'd follow it. In this case, yesterday, near the beginning, I said, "I feel like you don't want me to talk about the love thing more. That you want me to give you time." And he said, "We can talk about it if you want. It's fine." And referenced the matzoh ball being out there. So it didn't feel like I was pushing his boundaries to talk about it. If he'd said, "Can we table this for a bit?" I'd have done so.
And I'm glad for you that your T is OK with the "battering and deep frying"!