I live in small purely apartment area of my town. There is literally nothing here but buildings with apartments. That is why I moved here 12 years ago, because it's quiet. Apart from neighbors sometimes having works in their apartments which I thought was the worst thing now I know it's not. It's actually the smallest problem, because works are usually during the day, and the noise is pretty consistent and although not pleasant at all I am getting a bit used to it.
Problem is, during whole winter, from December 1st to April, every single day, whole day, sometimes up to midnight or after 1am, there are explosions of firecrackers in this area. It started last year, and it was hell for me. I have a problem with noise, it makes me horribly anxious, scared, and often very angry, agitated, I can't cope with it. While I found ways to cope with works in other apartments of my building, and with children screaming from nearby playground (that was the least triggering to me), I can't just can't cope with firecrackers neither fireworks, but firecrackers are the worst. I feel so bad every time I hear that horrible explosion like my mind is on fire, I get unreasonable angry, agitated, anxious, and it takes time for me to calm down.
I always reacted badly to noise, that's not new. But firecrackers are the worst. It's very loud, sudden explosion and it creates giant stress every time for me.
But here, it won't stop. Day and night, there is no break, whole winter like I am in hell. I can't move now, it's not an option because my apartment is in cheapest area in town so I can't get anything for it, just much smaller and less quality apartment and I moved here for silence! I don't know why this horrible trend started and who does it, I called police because once I was literally hysterically crying because it was Christmas, I was alone because my mom died, and I was depressed, and they wouldn't stop! Police said like yes, that is against the law but they can do anything about it. And they didn't.
Today, it was heavily raining so I thought who will in right mind toss those things in rain? They did. Whole freaking day. While I write this it's almost midnight, and there are still explosions outside. It's like a worst mind torture, there is no silence ever, no peace, just random explosions, all day, all night every day. I don't understand how no one else is bothered by this. After each explosion I can hear barking of all scared dogs in area, probably babies crying too. Why people do this? Why they let them do this to all of us? Why are there evil people who do such thing like torturing the whole area with constant random explosions and no one can do anything about it?
Mind you, everyone is crying that Europe is in crisis, everything is now expensive blah blah but there is money for so many firecrackers??? I counted hundreds just today!
I don't know if I am going crazy and I am the only one who can hear them but I did hear few persons on the street complaining about same thing. But it's like I react much worse than them to this. I mean I had noisy works outside my window whole summer and it wasn't even close triggering to me. I was annoyed because it was noisy but it was just "normal" noise, constant, boring, and it had time when it stopped. This is like hell that never ends.
Please, if anyone can tell me how to overcome this horrible feeling of hysteria, fear and anger I feel every time I hear explosion, it's like aggression towards my brain. I can't help but to feel super stressed all the time even when there is a short silence I am in anticipation of another explosion.
I can't do anything about it, obviously, police doesn't care, other people live with that and don't care anymore, dogs are scared like me, cats too, but it's like "normal"????? I just want it to stop.
Or any advice how can I help myself.
I think maybe this could be partially a PTSD as my country was under bombs 22 years ago, but I was always extremely triggered by loud sudden noise. Like someone pops balloons suddenly beside you and won't stop.
Help me, how can I deal with this?