Fwiw LT, it is up to the T to hold both the boundaries and the ethics.

Any negative feelings they may have as a result of what their clients say in therapy should be kept for their own supervision and worked through there. If I'm remembering correctly, I think you said Dr T doesn't have a Supervisor as such, but attends peer support a few times a year - however, that is his choice and he shouldn't be making your therapy sessions about his feelings. It is part of his role to help you work through whatever you need to work through.

My T always says I will be processing it (whatever it is), in a different way. So it doesn't matter how many times we go over or back to something, it's just a different way of dealing with it. Dr T shouldn't be shutting you down, shaming or making you feel bad in any way.

I know what it's like to wish a T would think of you outside of your therapy time and maybe check in with you spontaneously after a particularly difficult session. But you have already acknowledged that he is unlikely to, because he doesn't work that way. Please don't torture yourself wishing he would give more than he is prepared to. The only person who will get hurt is you.

I hope you can find a way through these difficulties with him that will be satisfactory to you both. But if you can't, remember that you once had quite strong transference feelings for ex-MC, and for a long while couldn't imagine not working with him anymore. But when the end finally came, you got through it and moved on. You have come a long way since then and learnt a lot more about yourself.

Trust your gut feeling. You will know what is right for you.


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