I tell people all of the time.. There's not much that people don't know about me - Cuz of the OCD symptoms and paThoLoGicAL HonEsTy. I told my therapist and I think I might have freaked her out lol...

But no worries, it's ok.. Just the internet is a lonely/negative place.. When I talk in real life, I find it hard to speak..

I'm my own worst enemy I guess. People have been through things.. But it seems like I interpreted everything in such a real way.

And I heard on a podcasts, "Smart kid gets picked on by classmates, shoots the place up" - I'd never do that.. I don't have an ideology or hate for anyone... I just felt like things were so unfair... Life is confusing for 99% of people.

My mind, it was good.. It broke though. I had potential, and people just label me "autistic", "gay", "lazy" "kill yourself", etc - Even some psychiatrists did severe malpractice. My mom could have sued the hospitals for leaving me with meds where I swallowed all of them.. Or other patients smuggling drugs into the hospital and giving them to me (Right after I was diagnosed with schiz).

The isolation was worse than being in solitary confinement cuz I was also tortured... But !! lol.. It's ok.. I just need to vent sometimes. I'm not a disturbed monster.. I am harmless, nice, kind, compassionate, empathetic..

I just need an outlet and organize every thought.. (80% would be good)... Phenibut, good mood lift.. I want things to make sense..

Not like the philosophy forum transgender person... Sociopath, narcissist.. I was raised by those people. Neglected too. If I don't speak or explain, my mind will rot.. I don't want it to be like this - But if I don't make sense of it, I won't be functional - My neurons would mix up and I'd become way too incoherent.