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Old Dec 12, 2022, 07:04 AM
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,749
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZenZeta View Post
Feel free to throw snowballs at me for this one, but...

I'm going out with a guy that wants to go OVERBOARD with the gift giving and it is putting my anxiety level on 5 million!!!

He's very stylish and loves to shop. I'm a simple gal. I work from home, so my wardrobe consists of versatile lounge wear for days I don't work out (jeggings, long sweaters and Uggs) to workout gear on the 4 days a week that I work out.

I will doll up if I have a REASON to (which involves a much dreaded shopping trip) and clean up pretty well, but my go-to is COMFORT. In contrast, he is always "put together" and has THREE closets full of clothes. He likes to stop by "store X" just to see what's out there and buys clothes just in case. NOT. MY. THING.

Anywho, he recently asked me (via text) for all of my sizes (shoes, clothing, jewelry, underwear, etc.) and I literally felt my skin crawl. I responded as politely as I could with a "I'm really simple" and suggested that he just get me a gift card, some workout gear or Uggs.

My concern is that he won't listen, and that he'll buy me all this fancy dancy stuff I really won't be comfortable wearing (he comments that my bra and panties don't match ALL THE TIME - I don't care!!!).

I struggle with people pleasing, so I would feel HORRIBLE if he bought me something I didn't want and most likely wouldn't give it back. I will go into my normal pattern of wearing it to make him happy while seething inside or feeling like I'm unacceptable the way I am.

I've shared with him that I don't think we're compatible (this is one of MANY reasons), and there are PLENTY of women out there that would find a guy that loves to shop and spend their disposable income on them a dream. Not me.

What should I do?
Be firm with him, tell him you want nothing fancy whatsoever. I'm the same way, I like casual comfortable clothes even if they are dressier for work and I'm very firm with people when they want to buy expensive stuff for me and I politely but firmly say no thanks and I stick to it. The fact that he's increasing your stress level is unwarranted, there's no need to go overboard during the holidays. See this is what I'm talking about, people pressuring others to buy expensive things during the holidays which is a huge turn off for me and I'm sorry he's doing that to you.