Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
I have learned over the years that if I don't want to hear someone's "opinion" about something bothering me, then I don't discuss things that are bothering me with that person. I can't force them to be any different than they can force my thinking to change.
Bottom line, your good approach of following the recommendations of your vet with plenty of time for rehab, really doesn't even need to be discussed. Give it time to heal, rehab, & rebuild strength. Don't cross future bridges until the time comes (if the time comes). Your vet, & rehab person & Andy's progress is all your focus needs to be on.
Obviously all external input you have received has not been the "support" you are looking for. That should be a good indication to you not to go there for support.
Get it from within from the vet & rehab & Andy which is what really counts & not someone elses opinion about what the future might hold. Wisdom is learning what to share & what not to share & learning when our best support comes from within & not from external sources.
I had a friend who always irritated me when I shared anything I was going through because she thought she had ALL the solurions & I should listen. I learned not so share anything I was personally going through with her & over the years have not even talked to her in over a year. I don't miss conversations with her at all & we did have a lot of other things in common. It is all a learning process about who & what we communicate to others
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Eskie, well definitely I learned those people are not people I can discuss this with for support. But I do want to discuss it with dog people I know because I want to know how other people have dealt with injuries, and also, yes, it's upsetting for me that my dog might be hurt and anxiety provoking, etc. I did end up talking to a few people who were very supportive, understood my fears, and told me about their experiences with their dogs having an injury.
As you said, and I agree, now I know those people aren't safe to have discussions beyond pleasantries with. One of the people I did talk to encouraged me to think about distancing myself from some of my current agility group. She pointed out that a lot of these groups (happens with horses too, right) get to be toxic and judgmental, and it's better to be around people with the kind of mentality and attitude and spirit that you also want to reflect.
I agree with her AND I also know that you can't avoid some of the attitude/toxicity. I think the best thing is to get some distance and set some boundaries for myself. My trainer, in particular, was there for me through Astro's passing, so it's not all bad, but she definitely has a different attitude about Andy.