Thank you both for answering. Although both your answers were quite different (in content and in tone) they were both JUST what I needed to read.

To Kim:

Thank you for your candor and 'tell-it-like-it-is' attitude. You're right. I don't know for sure if what I'm feeling is real love (I mentioned that in my post) or just 'normal' transference for one of the first men to ever pay any attention to me.

The reason I refer to what I felt as 'love at first sight' is because it is so similar to what I've felt when I've 'fallen' for other men I've encountered in regular social situations. Generally speaking though, aren't most people motivated to get to know someone/date purely on the basis of an initial physical attraction?

I've been trying to remind myself of what you wrote... I don't really have any background on him. I'm probably much more in love with the idea of him than really him, and you can get really carried away in your own fantasies. In any case, HE has plenty of background on ME, and knowing how screwed up I am, I'm sure that alone would scare him off!

To Perna:

Thanks for answering like a 'big sister'. You're also right... what's legal/ethical is mostly a concern to him, and I'm sure he's already been briefed on what constitutes appropriate/inappropriate behavior. Thanks for reminding me that it isn't 'unethical' to desire this man. I've never really been able to control my feelings (that's why I'm in therapy!).

But as both of you have suggested... I'm better off trying to forget about him and continue focusing on healing myself.