Dear T,
My mind started going to negative places about whether I you actually want me to "step back" now. But today you were talking about how you think authenticity in our relationship is important. Including your being honest with me about how you're feeling. So, I really think you would have just said it, if that were the case, or if I was very near that (whether you were referring to talking about feelings toward you--though you said today that's fine, it's more if I were pushing you to talk about yours--outside contact, sessions, and/or pushing you in other ways).

So I'm not going to check in with you about that. I'm going to talk it through in my head and sit on my hands until Friday (and might not ask you then anyway). And I'm going to just step back some on my own in other ways. I've already mentioned about reducing sessions. But pulling back on email and reducing my pushing you in other ways.

I said today how I thought your comment of how you may at some point need to tell me to "step back" felt like a threat. But what if I look at it in another way? What if it's almost a (not very pleasant) gift you're giving me, letting me know before you hit that point? So I can look at what I'm doing and maybe we can examine the reasons behind it before I go further down some rabbit hole into a place from which I'd/we'd have trouble returning?

We didn't get to it today, but what if that thought your colleague had about sabotage was at least in part correct? I mean, I imagine it's subconscious, but this can let me put it into my conscious and stop it before it goes any further. I mean, if I realize this therapeutic relationship isn't right for me and opt to leave, that's one thing. But burning it into the ground in some way isn't going to be good for anyone involved. Particularly me.

Love,
LT