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TishaBuv
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TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,103 (SuperPoster!)
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Default Dec 13, 2022 at 08:49 PM
 
Grand baby born- a beautiful girl!

Meanwhile, Same triggering struggle with h. I am improving by controlling my “mood disorder” and not tanking into a meltdown, nor an angry rant. I have tried discussing it with him infinite times. There are no more words to say. It is literally the same fight over and over with him gaslighting me. There is no point in having the teary meltdown anymore, either. So, it’s an improvement that my day wasn’t down into dangerous levels. I even took myself out for coffee, and enjoyed being around people, was able to thanks to no crying meltdown.

He signed up for a therapy course online. While I am glad he finally took initiative at help, I feel he did that to punish me instead of doing something to lift me. I wonder if he will log on to it again.

I’m being very conscious that I do not need another person to regulate my emotions. I did not confide in anyone else, no triangulation. The enablers do not give me the support and validation I seek anyway. This matter is only between me and him. I am no longer playing into the back/forth dance. The dysfunction is what it is, it’s disappointing and heartbreaking, I gave myself positive talk and was productive today instead of falling down in mood too far.

It was my birthday and I am too old for this crap.

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