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Dec 13, 2022, 11:21 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird
...Things like that, chaotic things that I didn't think had an effect on me. As a child it was all I knew so I thought it was normal, as an adult I know it's not but just felt it was irrelevant to ever bring up to anyone. But I started to see how my severe anxiety issues can be connected to it, so I talked about it for the first time in therapy today. My therapist said she's going to get some trauma recovery material for us to work on the next time we meet, she said she can definitely see how that kind of upbringing can create the severe chronic anxiety issues I have...
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Yes, that horrific trauma surely has had an effect on you. Imagine a child with a drunk, emotionally unstable woman (who is, btw, the child's mother) and how terrified that child feels in such a situation.
Something I learned, somewhere along the way a long time ago...
When I insisted that I was responsible for
I was told to look at girls of the ages I'd been abused. Look at how young they were. Did I really believe those girls could be responsible for something like what I'd been through?
When I did that I was shocked. Shocked. I looked at girls at those ages and realized they were children. In my mind I had been "so grown up." But no, I hadn't been. I was a child when he did those things. I could not have been the responsible one - he was!
Birdie, you might try doing that. Look at some little girls who are 9 years old or so and think about them doing what you HAD to do at that age. What would you say to those girls? What would you feel for them?
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