I don't want the typical "childhood trauma" answer.
If it is that, then why does my dad throwing a hatchet towards me and being sexually abused for years make me want to eat the house and then puke it all up? Why does it make me want to slice my own skin open? Why does it make me want to pop pills, drink, and shoot meth?
If it's not "childhood trauma" then what is it? Genetics? My dad is an addict. Tons of bipolar on that side of the family and a bit of anxiety on my mom's side (OCD and panic disorder). How can my dad's choices dictate my choices?
I don't understand the reasoning or the link. I feel like I need to understand to get better.