I found my answer in the concept of the "negative introject". An introject is kinda like a turkey flavor injector, only psychological. Negative parenting infuses it into your very being. Like the bible says, "as the twig is bent..." The only way to change it is to change. But it doesnt feel right, does it? Thats why they call it "getting out of your comfort zone". Even if that zone is effed, it is comfortable.