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Dec 15, 2022, 12:11 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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I feel awful @Blue_Bird that you took your parents' terrible dysfunctions into yourself. What a vile, vicious thing to do to a little child. I can't even ...just...no. No.
I struggle to this day with my father having left when I was 6, I adored him and thought he did me; my parents seemed to have a solid marriage, then suddenly he took off with some woman.
Strangely, perhaps because I had 2 sisters who were grown women by the time I could understand what they were saying, I knew quite clearly that "that woman" (my mother) had "something wrong with her." I thought she was beautiful and there were things about her I loved and admired. And then there were those other things, the crazy things. I hated her for those, but I didn't take them personally because she'd done them to my sisters and father, too. So while I hated that part of her I also felt terribly sorry for her. It seemed to me that she must feel miserable to be able to be so cruel. All in all, I felt neutral about her.
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