Pretty crazy.

I got my wife to commit to several months of therapy with me. This infuriated the kids as they are exhausted. I had several good interactions with her and good conversations, and really had a chance to enjoy her company a few times. She stepped into family life to some degree by making meals and hanging out with me and the kids together just watching TV.

Things blew apart big time, all in the span of one week. My kids told me about things they had experienced that were worse than I knew while they were growing up. I reached out to a friend of my wife's and asked for some input on getting her to reduce some of her time on the phone with her friends in the evening. This woman told me they were no longer in touch. She found the friendships so toxic and the expectations for time so consuming, and the alternately glowingly positive and extremely negative comments from the ladies to be just too much. She also said the "single ladies" were always telling my wife how much fun it was to date, and enjoy the attention of men, and how easily they could get men to look after things they needed done.

I had a therapy session, and related much of this to the therapist. I've seen her for four years. She said, this is consistent with what I expected to hear. She said, I can't diagnose anyone without treating them, but the techniques we have worked on for years are techniques for someone who is in a marriage with someone with strong borderline traits.

Then my son went to pick her up from a work Christmas party and said she was in way too much contact with her male coworkers. My wife denied that but also finished the night by yelling at me that the kids have just never seen a man be interested in their mother before, and that it felt good to have that interest.

I accept, what my son saw doesn't necessarily mean anything.. People can have a few drinks and be too "friendly", it doesn't mean anything happened.

I asked for a few days of no one bringing up anything, and just keep things cool and keep moving forward with Mom and I getting to counselling.

Then my wife blew off our youngest to go hide in the room on the phone with her friends again. An hour later she came out and youngest lost it with her. I tried shushing kid at first, then bailed out, because I was being accused by my wife of making things worse.

Oldest comes out because he heard his mom start f-bombing the youngest kid, and cursing the kid out. I hadn't heard that. So the two of them proceed to directly and calmly tell mom big, damaging hurtful things she's done and how it has effected them.

Around about here, I re-joined the conversation.

As far as she was concerned, None of it happened. She apologized for none of it, and began telling them various things I had done, all with a bit of a twist to them, or taken out of context. The thing is, she accepted no blame for anything from them. The things they said all came from stuff I put in their heads.

Finally, the youngest said, calmly, I don't want to live with you ever again. I can't. You twist too many things and you are too angry, you don't make time for us, and you never apologize.

If my kid said that to me I would be destroyed. My wife replied with, "fine... Then I won't make you meals, do your laundry, drive you any place, or help you with school. If you want to be the child of a single parent, you'll see what it's like."

Then she went and locked herself in her room.

That was Wednesday evening.

Thursday, I came home from work after my wife had left for work My kids were all home from school because it was all too much to process.

I came in our home and got weak and cried. Cried like I have at loved ones funerals. All I wanted was my simple home with my family together. That' all I ever wanted. For the rest of the day I went through periods like that. Weak, shaking convulsively, and crying. That was yesterday.

Today my wife went to her girlfriend's place. She still hasn't talked to the kids.

Looking at this now, I think she had borderline tendencies, and being hurt by me (p0rn), being shunned by her family and having the relationship with my family break down, and me just not being the person she needed at times hurt her very deeply. I think all that, and the influences from these ladies, swirled into what she is now.

This is all so hard to face