From what you just shared, your wife is using emotional blackmail on you and your children. She is basically saying she has a right to treat you and your children badly and then threatens that if you call her out that she will punish you.

Her behavior is unhealthy for her whole family. She is acting like a defiant teenager, not an adult. This speaks of her lack of maturity which is often present with alcoholism and addiction. Even if she has reduced her consumption, her behaviors have not changed.