Today earmarks the first day of full no contact. This is a new milestone for me in my recovery from narc abuse. Now it's also a true test of where I stand in my emotional and mental recovery - I don't know at this point if I will still feel pulled emotionally towards him - I don't think so?

I feel well on my way to recovery at this stage. I have watched many videos on narc abuse on YouTube - the education about narcissism has been invaluable to my recovery.

I see it all for what it truly is - a mental illness that is incurable and untreatable. I see HIM for who he truly is - a master manipulator, a liar without morals, conscience or integrity and a cheater.

I bet you anything he was still talking to women behind my back and I bet you anything that he had other emotional affairs going on beyond the one I caught him in. I think he just got better at hiding it from me.

I have no doubt that a year ago when I had mental health troubles for a full month that took me out of work, that he was likely having an emotional affair during that time period. I have no proof, only suspicions because he is untrustworthy and I would not put it past him to have continued the same behaviors. All abusive narcs are cheaters, I've read, and habitual cheaters at that.

So, this will be interesting to see how I handle no contact from now on. I think I will be just fine - in fact, I think it will help me more than anything towards healing and greater recovery. Out of sight, out of mind kind of thing. I feel a bit excited right now about this.