Apologies in advance for not mentioning everyone by name but you've all made very valuable observations.

"Empowered women groups" have a bad reputation, whether they're formal or just a bunch of like-minded people who invite others to join. No longer in the work environment, am not sure if the professional ones still exist. Many gained a reputation for just taking the money, evident by designer clothes/shoes worn at these events. Problems can also exist in the casual groups, caused by personalities. Sometimes the dynamics can seriously affect mental health.

Can relate to the emotional blackmail comments, but in my case, it's my mother who is behaving in this way. We can be too quick to assume we are totally to blame without looking at the bigger picture (being numb). When we ask ourselves why, it can open our eyes to uncomfortable realisation that either a person close to us has changed or they've always had these traits.

You and your children's self-esteem is under threat here. If action is not taken and this situation is allowed to continue, then it's a downward spiral. Hope I've made sense!