Today it has been one full year since our last session.

I've had so many thoughts and feelings about ending since I walked out your door for the last time! Only recently have I begun to really understand a few things... the biggest of which is that you were never equipped to properly work with the depth of my attachment to you, and so that led me to stay a whole lot longer than I ever should have. At the same time though, I remain grateful to you because we still managed to do a whole lot of good work woven in and around all the attachment bs. I learned a lot about working with my dreams, found the courage to start writing again (and I do consider it courage because of the subject matter at the beginning), etc.

Oh, I'm not saying I don't still have work to do because of course I do... but I'm handling pretty much everything in life so much better than I used to that's for sure. And you know what else - the more time that goes by since our last session, the more confidence I have been feeling in myself. I guess that is what I was suspecting a year ago when I said that I felt like I wouldn't be able to take the next step toward my psychological growth until I left. So yeah, that's what that was all about; my growing confidence to deal with life. Especially since I did those 2 8-week CBT things through my insurance - that through actually leaving therapy when I knew deep down inside that it was past time, I found enough faith in myself to even TRY something new/different - I really feel like completing all of the self-challenges in those 16 weeks helped my self-confidence grow even more.

The absolute hugest thing that has happened in the past year? I hardly ever call myself stupid anymore. And that feels good. Well, it still slips out on rare occasions, but honestly, it used to be pretty much a daily occurrence... so I'll take it!

I hope that you are well.