I hope I still have the attention from everyone who has written so far, I seriously hope to get a reply to this one.

EJ711 said, "As long as you get a therapist, who is a good fit for you..."

When I read that, the first thing that came to my mind was, "I will NEVER find anyone who is a good fit, because no one seems to ever understand." I am literally paranoid that I'd get a therapist that would only do the same things my so-called friends have done. I'd be happy just to have them listen, which I'm sure is half of the therapy. However, there comes a point that I have to stop over-trusting people, then dropping them because they've crossed the line. In order to work with a therapist, I'd have to trust them. I don't have time to "try" 50 therapists in search for a "good match."

Peppermint Patty raised the gender issue, and it is a valid issue. Women are not supporting each other as we should. I'm being very honest here, I feel so trapped. If I get a female therapist, I swear the whole time I'd be sitting there thinking, "She's going to say something to tick me off any minute now." If I get a male therapist, I'll think he doesn't really understand the depth of my pain because he'll pass it off as just another woman who's frustrated with her stage of life.

When I say that I've never been jealous of a person in my life, and I don't understand what makes other people act evil when they're jealous, I'm telling the truth. I picture a therapist hearing that and then thinking I'm arrogant. The real problem is that I'm extremely gullable, which is why I don't know how to deal with the signs of an adult bully any more than I did when I was a kid. I think people pick up on it incredibly quickly, and before I know it, I'm hurt again. I think it's a shame if we have to walk around with a shield up all the time. I just can't live like that.

Here I am asking for help and already thinking I'd have to use a shield with the therapist?! What am I supposed to be thinking?