Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Well this is why they say therapy is like an onion - but you should be going deeper with each iteration. I cant tell if Mr T is heading LT off at the pass, cutting her procesing short. Again, you cant present REASONS, you have to present FEEEEEELINGS. Like reasons Mr T should stand up at the end of a session? Or how you FEEL when he doesnt stand. Not when he SAYS he wont stand, but what NOT standing MEANS to you. Because you are not paying him to stand; you are paying him to explore why his not standing bothers you so much. And ditto for other stuff.
Eta - i had a relatively painless day yesterday so i thought it was over, but its snot.  |
It's interesting that Dr. T (or "Mr. T"--though now I'm picturing him with gold chains and a mohawk) has used the onion analogy, too, saying that talking about the relationship is the center of the onion. I had the thought a couple weeks ago (before the conflict part of it happened) that it felt we were really at the center of the onion and could make some good progress here. Then...whatever this was happened. (Is it a rupture? A conflict? I'm not totally sure what to call it in this case.)
And that was part of my frustration/hurt/anger, that it felt like we were in a really good spot therapeutically (like drawing connections between things in my present and past, too, not just about him), then all his stuff got in the way.
I asked him earlier this week if he'd be willing to examine things without putting his feelings in there. Like, could I say, for example, "It's hard for me when you resume charging for email." And talk about what that is about for me, rather than his explaining reasons for doing that, like how he has to make a living. He seems open to doing that. Because if he interjects all his personal feelings in there, then I can't really examine those things.
Which is also what happened way back with the standing, as you mention. Where he could have been like, "Wow, what is going on for LT here, why is this such a big deal for her? Is this tied to something else?" Instead of "I will NOT stand, and that's that!"
And I'm very sorry you're in pain again. Maybe consider making a doctor's appointment?