@Travelinglady - I'm just now seeing your post. Somehow I missed it. Thanks. Your suggestion of me leaving the ball in her court feels right to me.

She was hospitalized once for slitting her wrists when she was a lot younger. The cuts were superficial. She never pursued any mental health treatment. She has said she doesn't "believe in that stuff." Yes, she can have a black and white view of people, over-idealizing sometimes and demonizing at other times. She carries a lot of anger, but can be warm and good-natured. I've known her to say awful things about people that weren't true. When drinking she tends to get depressed.

It's sad to have hard feelings going on at this time of year. I tend to think there must be something I can do and should do to make things right between us. That just leads to me getting more distressed. I accept that she is as she is and probably wrestles with inner demons of her own.

I don't think I'll do anything about this. Just wait and see. Thanks for indicating that that would be alright.