I am sorry to hear about your sufferings, Rose! Take it easy and only do what you are able to do. Do not try to stretch your energy more than possible. Tell yourself that it is OK to be depressed and not able to do all the Christmas preparation. You are OK to us here on the forum. I am sure that everyone here only wish that you take care of yourself with regard to nutrition and drinking water. If you don't have the energy to go out, order your groceries (easy to make dinners). You know; the two last weeks I have bought only dinners to heat. They cost more, but I will try to make a budget after New Year, where I save the extra money needed in the dark December, during the whole year. Please take it easy, Rose, let yourself rest. I don't know if you have a therapist or even need one, but maybe you ought to look out for somebody who can talk to you (or play a game with you, drinking coffee together or something else), Red Cross, a local church or something .... Many places they even make an alternative Christmas for people feeling alone.