But he is a gaslighter: you cannot win a contest with him by definition. I know from experience that it is tempting to try to win but also know (from very painful experience) that attempts to win are not only futile but at times dangerous. Look, in the beginning of the thread you said that you felt guilty but then clarified that you felt foolish, and that feeling, that you were foolish to trust, was painful for you. Now, if you continue trying to win, you will end up feeling foolish for repeating the same mistake again and again. And that feeling will be painful to you as well. It is better to accept that you cannot win but can separate and reclaim your life. Or, what if you tell yourself that winning is not proving him wrong to his own friends by instead succeeding at your independence?

I am glad that you are not giving up music. Think through in advance what you will do in you run into him at the music event so that it does not take you by surprise.