My Support Forums - View Single Post - Can We Talk About This? (It's the Season)

*Beth* · Dec 20, 2022, 01:57 AM

Hi @Rose76, thank you for joining in. I remember well when your boyfriend died.

I've found that sometimes when I've lost loved ones the grief was immediate and intense. With other losses I did surprisingly well for a while, even years, following their death. Then for some reason the grief would hit and I was blindsided. My mom died when I was 42 and although I've had times when I very much missed her, they were fairly brief; I moved right along. This holiday season, seventeen years later, I miss my mother so badly I've been crying every day. It feels unbearable.

I think you're courageous and downright amazing for going ahead with your decorations, even though you weren't really feeling it. I promise you that your neighbors notice it.

One night I was sitting in my living room, maybe 3 1/2 weeks ago, battling one of the deepest and most frightening depressions I have ever experienced. The beginning of one of these long, long nights had just started and I was wondering how I was going to make it through another one. I turned to my right to look out of my window and wow!- there, across the street, were the first holiday lights I'd seen this year. So bright and so colorful! I studied those life-saving lights and said, Person, if only you knew how much you have helped me tonight!

So, you know, holiday decorations are like smiles we give.

It's unfortunate about your girlfriend. Could that be a part of why you're feeling more down this holiday season?

I'll be alone on Christmas, too, but I'll be around here, and some others will be, too. Plus, I'm sure those who are with friends and family will drop in, too. So I hope to see you