Hi Zen,

I was thinking that when you take classes after your daughter graduates, you will be in a position to meet new people at school.

I also went back to school after my kid left home to attend college and I met lots of acquaintances, and with a great job at the time, I was having a ball - and attracting friendships where I selected good friends who were trustworthy to let in.

This good life continued for ten years, with a setback or two along the way.

Your plans sound great!.
You will be attracting friends and can pick those most trustworthy to share your personal issues with as you have just done with your co-worker.

Other than this new depression I have been dealing with since Jan. due to going off a strong dose of steroids and dealing with illness that occasionally exacerbates, I look forward to improving and continuing on my merry way, even with an anxiety disorder, I see a positive life ahead.

If I look back into the past traumas, it's because triggers take me where I really don't want to be ... like when someone I love says something deliberate to be hurtful ... it's a real big trigger and that poses challenges for me to get out of the 'sinkhole' I find myself in - where the repetitive rehashing of what was said, why they said it knowing that would cut me, , yada, yada, yada ... goes on.

Other than that type of challenge, I have come to terms with my life. I am even grateful for some of the bad that happened in a way that it made me stronger, smarter, and helped me know myself better than if things hadn't happened the way they did.

I agree that we can't lose the ground we have made. We arrived where we are. We have moved on much. We will not fit back into a past life like a puzzle piece fits in it's place anymore. There is comfort in knowing we have come far enough - not to repeat our lives all over again.

We can have a difficult patch though. And a trigger response also. Maybe something new could develop too. But we have the fighting survival instinct, intact, to gain on anything negative in our life.

This time will pass. The difficulties will lighten up, and one day soon, you will wake up without thinking about the tub experience. Pressure and problems triggered it, i'm sure.

Anyway, just wanted to share with you the thoughts I was having reading your post.

Thank you for writing your thoughts as it also gave me a chance to take stock.

Good Luck in your new endeavor.

Peace and friendships,
nightbird

We are new and old at the same time, and improved.