You grew up with an alcoholic parent. You ended up learning how to survive in a dysfunctional home caused by alcoholism. You still practice these old skills and carry the guilt of feeling of you being a failure and having the same desires of wanting the ideal home and family life.

Is that what you want for your children?

Your wife went away and you got to enjoy your sons and have fun. Then your wife came home with her disordered dysfunctional behaviors. Now you and your sons literally feel sick and your son is withdrawing and not able to get up and go to school. THAT is part of the loop that you and your sons have been trying to survive. Yes! That is the insanity.