I think because he has downplayed and excused his bad behaviors either by blaming me or by minimizing the impact and harm that he has inflicted on me. He thinks he’s been a good husband in several ways. He thinks that the nicer facade he exhibited counteracts all the bad things. But that’s just it - it was all a facade and fake. His niceness towards me is only self serving for him to feel better about himself. He’s been a crap husband and that’s what I’ve told him. His argument is that he wasn’t. It’s maddening!!!