If he was the kind of man to provide validation, acknowledgement and respect, you’d remain married. The whole point is that he’s not providing that while married so hoping he’d provide it after divorce is unrealistic. He will not. And this is too fresh. You have to deal with divorce and it’s usually not the time to reflect. He might be able to reflect later but who cares. Don’t give him power to define or validate you.

And it’s not an argument one can win. He doesn’t need to agree that he was a bad husband. His agreement is not required. You have a difference in opinion on what good spouse entails. It’s fine he thinks he was great. What does it matter?

Plus who knows what he really thinks?? He might not even think he was great. Just says he was.