Alcoholics do not develop maturity. They do not learn how to regulate their emotions. Instead these individuals use the alcohol to self medicate to help numb them. It is not unusual for an alcoholic to also use other drugs. They tend to have problems in two main areas work and relationships. It’s not unusual for them to gravitate towards others that also have addiction problems.

When it comes to both work and relationships they tend to fall apart with certain challenges and need a time out to escape.

For thirty two years I have witnessed this in many who try to get sober and live sober. These individuals look for sponsors and in that are looking for a parent figure to help them talk out their emotional life challenges they never learned how to work through and instead began self medicating for. The truth is because of the drinking, they lack true adult maturity.

The reason why this is known as a “narcissistic” disease/disorder is because narcissists do not know how to regulate their emotions and tend to project and create their own reality. They are always looking for an outside answer/reward to settle their inside turmoil and insecurities. These individuals don’t care and love, instead they use and expect others to fit their needs. They love using and expect others to fill their needs and wants “their fantasy”.

There are narcissists and other disordered individuals that become alcoholics and addicts. They never really stop “using” others for their own gain. And those that claim to have special powers and they need to believe that they do.

Alcoholics are immature individuals looking for a parent figure. This makes them susceptible to latching on to a person that may guide them to believe they are a victim and blame others for their problems. “ it’s not you, it’s your husband”. And the problem with this is a person is being advised without the advisor even knowing the husband.

It’s very hard to love someone who is an alcoholic. The damages tend to get passed down from one generation to the next. You see, there is a young teen and he is suffering and doesn’t know what to do with the emotions he is experiencing. So much so that he gets sick to his stomach and can’t get up and go to school. He is already on a path of possibly also developing a self medicating addiction.

Don’t you think he wants to feel safe to love his mother? His mother is NOT SAFE to love. His mother is not even aware of how her behaviors are affecting her own family. LACK OF SELF AWARNESS! And she has some women that are encouraging her to believe SHE is the victim when she needs to see her own disordered dysfunctional part.