Given what you shared about your wife’s history, it’s very possible that her needing to sleep with both her children stems from her assuring they get what she didn’t. This is not always a conscious effort, but instead is a deeply subconscious unmet need she experienced herself.

We remember everything we experience from surprisingly young ages. Yet, it’s more a developed instinct than remembering on a conscious level.

Yes, it’s probably a combination of things that have affected your wife that has changed her behaviors.