Well I did it, I talked about the sexual thing that happened to me when I was a kid. Talked about how I dissociated when it was happening and how it's connected to how I dissociate now as an adult when stressed or anxious.

She also said it's understandable how I feel and how I felt growing up, hating myself, feeling anxious, dissociated, etc between that stuff and also add in my whole living situation with my mom. And said it's unfortunate about whatever that girl was experiencing or witnessing herself, to end up doing that to me. Because it's not normal behavior.

We talked about some other stuff too, my experimenting with drugs as a young adult (16-19), blacking out, having a horrible experience where I'm lucky to be alive, hallucinating, etc How I stopped and am glad I stopped because my mom was an alcoholic and my father who wasn't in my life was a drug addict. So I definitely don't want to end up with addictions likt either of them.

She said she's glad I'm finally opening up about all this stuff because it makes a lot of sense and connects with some of my mental health (some of it is biological, some of it is environmental/upbringing, trauma, etc)

I honestly feel huge relief for finally talking about this stuff.