Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
Thanks, Buffy. Honest question, though… Has anyone here had the experience of the intentionally hurtful person owning up to their behavior and apologizing? I know I wanted that from them so much! I feel you, HH, how much we all want, at the very least, that person to take responsibility and acknowledge they were wrong . It stems from this feeling of how could they have thought so little or so poorly of us? It is a feeling of being unseen, dismissed, run over.
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You said it perfectly. It's a feeling of being unseen, dismissed and run over.
And that's how I feel almost every time after I've spoken to my husband about what he's done to me. I've given him the whole picture even and still, I get very little.
I've stated: you yelled & screamed at me for the first 2.5 years of marriage; then you cheated on me; then you fought with me every week for over a month, for hours on end, insulting and demeaning me.
He has said in reply: "I wasn't an a-hole throughout the marriage. I did fight with you and in those fights I behaved like a child". That's the most I got from him in terms of acknowledgement.
And that's the problem. They do think so poorly of us that this is how we get treated. It's not personal. They would do the same to anyone else.
So, no. I don't think it's possible to get acknowledgement after intentional harm.