Again, you are choosing to go over this same old ground and never get a different result. You are choosing this.

Find a therapist to help you MOVE FORWARD. The one you've been seeing is not helping you. This is a lost cause and you are in danger of losing your children's respect because you are not moving forward with cutting yourself off from this abuser of them.

Put your kids FIRST for once. Not her and not this weird delusion you're under that she has the capability of being a safe partner for you/mother for them.