This is important:

"His mother is NOT SAFE to love. His mother is not even aware of how her behaviors are affecting her own family. LACK OF SELF AWARNESS! And she has some women that are encouraging her to believe SHE is the victim when she needs to see her own disordered dysfunctional part."

Again, last night, my wife took huge issue that I had found fault with her as a parent, and that I had asked her to leave the house on the weekend.

I replied, I've spent years trying to get you to see that you are doing deep damage to your relationships with the kids. The kids are physically and emotionally sick. They have asked me to advocate for them. They are past their limits and want you out.

She replied, "See? All you do is criticize me!"

I asked, Why is it a bigger deal that I've told you about these things than that you've DONE these things?

She replied with, "There's no moving forward with you. You're just constantly critical."

I've reviewed text strings and emails with my psych counselor for years. She pointed out there is rarely if ever ownership, just deflection.

When my wife cursed me out recently and I said, "You can't speak to me like that, that's too much," I was offensive for being critical of her.