@Tart Cherry Jam this is a good conversation to have in a forum like this. I think it’s important to have conversations that reveal how people CAN have good relationships despite not engaging in sex. There are wonderful individuals that are under the impression that they have no value if they don’t have a sex drive for whatever reason and that is simply not true.
A couple can be warm and cuddle and rub each other’s feet and give lots of hugs and feel and enjoy LOVE without sex. It’s wonderful to be able to be loving and receive oxytocin.

I was going through a really tough time and had to try to sell things to get money to feed my animals. I stopped in a shop and the woman who was the owner looked at me and caring it said, “you are suffering let me take care of this one customer and we will talk”. She turned out to be such a wonderful person. She bought things from me and we would sit and talk.

She had a very challenged life and her life experiences gave her depth and quality and she helped me look at things a little differently. She had a male partner and both of them had been abused and they were both sexually uncomfortable. But they learned to be close despite their discomforts. I enjoyed hearing how they built this special relationship. Being able to cuddle without that pressure was what they both needed.

It’s important to know these good relationships, meaningful relationships. There can be much quality closeness without this Barbie and Ken ideal. He isn’t a failure and neither are you, it’s just that you don’t quite fit as a couple.